long week

I've exercised once this week and it feels like forever ago. I'm finally gonna go on a run tonight and I'm excited and scared. It might be really painful. I'm finding that I need to really recommit myself to my workouts and health. I'm struggling right now!
I'm gonna try and really get outside this weekend--it's supposed to be beautiful. I can't wait!

sunshine and nostalgia

This weekend was beautiful. I spent time at my parent's place and was able to catch a little league game. I love that hometown feeling of baseball in the park. Did a slight jog to the park and walked back to my parents place. I didn't really get my full hour of exercise but I did a good amount of walking. Sunday was a glorious day back in SF. My cousin and friend had our traditional breakfast on Balboa Street at Cinderella Bakery...Cappuccino and Croissant (yes, they should be capitalized). Somehow we were finally convinced to ride our bikes through the park and play some soccer. It was really laid back until I decided to play "Monkey in the Middle"--kinda got me winded. Playing soccer is so nostalgic and yet a painful reminder of how out of shape I really am and how long ago I played the game. I wish I never stopped. The bike adventure continued through the park as we watched roller bladers, skaters, skaterboarders of all ages on the blacktop. They always play such good jams too. Moseying on down toward the museums we stopped at the lindy hoppers. Ella Fitzgerald and Beyonce blared through the park within the same half hour. Our two wheel adventure left the park to get some deli sandwiches and then we rode our bikes home. Overall it felt good to get a lot of sunshine and get out of the house. I'm learning that I really have to workout on purpose or my heart rate just doesn't get to where it needs to go.

co-ordinate

Bless! So I think I'm coordinated but then I took a Zumba class and figured out that I'm not. Plain and simply, I can shake it in the club but a Dancer I am not! No matter though because I had a lot of fun attempting to shake everything my mama gave me and more. I need to practice my moves in the mirror like my sister. The class was an hour long and I sweat soo much! We did merengue, salsa, cha cha, flamenco, reggaeton, samba and some afro-latin moves too. I'm definitely gonna go back and hopefully master hopping backwards. I can't remember the dance we were doing but the instructor explained it saying it's a backwards hop. Theoretically it sounds easy since I know how to hop forward but practically, there's something missing. Bless!

run shy

Knowing that I have to run for 25 minutes straight is intimidating. My sister made a good point though...it's difficult to run at your peak every day so maybe I should change it up a bit. I've come up with a weekly plan. I'm running for most days and I have one day completely free from a schedule. I also read in Runner's World that if you're trying to lose weight (which I am) then I have to workout for 60 minutes per day. That means I have to up the ante and move for a little longer. Here's what I gonna do:

Monday: Light Run/Walk
Tuesday: 25-30 min Run / 35-30 min Walk
Wednesday: Zumba
Thursday: 25-30 min Run / 35-30 min Walk
Free Friday
Saturday: Anything Active i.e. tennis, soccer, walk to the beach, Zumba, yoga
Sunday: 25-30 min Run / 35-30 min Walk

Today is my first Zumba class! I'm excited to dance and sweat!

i am a runner

I ran for 25 minutes straight today and from now on, I just keep running. My C25K program hasn't officially ended but I'm done with the run/walk portion and now it just tells me to run for time. It's a scary place to be but it's an amazing feeling. There's nothing to fall back on and nothing to stop for. I can do it and that's almost as difficult to admit as not being able to do it. I have no more excuses because I've been training to eliminate them. I feel vulnerable and afraid to succeed. The most difficult part of succeeding and going for my goals is that I'm invested. The stakes are higher because I care. I become accustom to mediocre and settling for okay. To try and fail or heaven forbid, to try and succeed seemed like too much to risk. For such a long time I couldn't handle either outcome. I was fragile and depressed and fearful of what might happen. I didn't have to change but I was definitely at a crossroads for the millionth time. I chose differently in January and I've been making small changes that hopefully keep adding up.

I continue to chip away at my fears but to put my success and accomplishment simply, i am a runner!

day of rest

God did it...so can I? I'm struggling with this one but I'm trying to take one day a week off. Is it a good idea? Bad? When I think I've shed myself of my Catholic upbringing, it's the guilt that always reminds me of where I come from. I jokebut I do feel guilty about not gearing up and running around the park. Part of this will be an experiment. It rained last Sunday and the next day I ran for 20 minutes straight and felt great. I have a 25 minute run coming up so I'm hoping my strategy works. I didn't run last Friday either. Maybe I just don't like running on Fridays and I might have to get in trouble some other way at the end of the week!

am i in a better mood?

My sister made a comment after yesterday's run that she was in such a better mood after our little jog. So I asked if I'm in a better mood ever since I started running...Her answer was a resound, DEFINITELY! Hmm, I must have been a real beezee before I started running :) She elaborated about how I have much more energy, my habits of sitting on the couch and zoning out on television have changed. I am out and about more and so all of this seems to translate to "good" energy. I've definitely noticed a change in my disposition. I'm running and feeling better about myself and I'm hoping it translates to a better mood. I don't think it's coincidence that since I've started running my mindset has changed. I feel like I've accomplished something and everyday brings new challenges that last about 30 minutes. My half hour triumphs give me confidence. Feeling good about myself has been difficult for the past three years. I've hardly felt determined let alone proud of myself. I like measuring myself day to day and week to week on how long I've run and how much easier it feels (sometimes).

As much as I love being a beezee, it's nice to know that I can be a happier one!